Hey Door*

It's over and done. Exams and presentations are finished. Christmas has come and gone, and I am now on my way back to Lund after spending some time with my svensk familj and tomorrow I leave for the US.

This picture is my favorite. OG for lyfe

Honestly, I never thought this day would come. In August it seemed so far away, as if I had a lifetime between leaving and coming back. And in a way, I did. It may have only been four and a half months but the things I did span experiences that altered my point of view and will stay with me forever. Another post on some of my favorite memories to come.

Great moments coming from altered plans

I'm returning to the US a different person than when I left. Yes, that's an awful cliche and I hate saying it and yes, I was living pretty much the same quality of life here in Sweden as I would in the US, but it wasn't without alterations and complications that made me more self-aware. They may have been smaller things like slicing my own cheese or bigger ones like being able to legally buy alcohol. Having the freedom to choose exactly how I wanted to spend my time and money gave me the ability to really understand myself. Living a life without a real schedule made me realize how much I like having a day to day routine that never changes and how much I really hate last minute changes that alter my plans. Even though things don't always go as planned, I realized you just have to accept them and move on because there's nothing that you can do. If you live your life constantly unhappy about what didn't happen, you won't be able to enjoy the smaller moments.

Meeting people from Australia to Guatemala and everywhere in between opened my eyes to the sheer number of people and cultures that we are part of. An individual is nothing special. As awful as that may sound, I think it's the truth. You can do nothing by yourself. Independence is really great and being able to do things by yourself makes you stronger, but in the end I don't think that you can live a wholesome life alone. We're all drops and together we all form one larger community that evolves and helps the members become more self-actualized.

Maslow said that to become a self-actualized person we must first fulfill basic needs like food and housing but I disagree. In order to know how we want to fulfill our basic needs or whether we want them fulfilled at all, we must first know ourselves. Living abroad helped me gain a deeper understanding of who I am underneath the Bean Boots and leggings and a deeper confusion of what I want to do. Is the path I'm on really the right one? Am I doing things right? Is my behavior in line with my goals? But in the end, I just need to trust that everything will work out eventually.

After four months, I'm ready to go back to the land of drive thrus and Thursday Night Football. Where I can not feel like a jerk for speaking English and where I have a schedule for every day of the week. I am extremely fortunate to live the life I have for the past few months and will always be grateful for the people I've met and things I've experienced. I never thought that southern Sweden would be home, but Lund will always have a special place in my heart.

While I am ready to go, I don't want to leave the person I am here behind. We become different people when we move and must trust that the best versions of ourselves are still to come. Every experience alters us in a new way and the best ones we take with us forever. With that being said, I can only trust that I bring the good aspects of my character in Lund back with me to Denver and not pack the bad ones in my suitcase.


So Lund and Sweden, this isn't a goodbye but a "see you soon." I'll be back. I'll be a different person when I return but I'll come back for your fresh sil, fika, schnapps, lake skating, and some 3pm sunsets.

Vi ses snart,

Em

*Hej då på svenska means goodbye. A little play on words because who doesn't enjoy a good pun?