Halfway

A lot has happened since the last time I sat down and wrote a full blog post. That's not to say I haven't been writing but that I can't finish what I've started. Nothing seems good enough and I don't want to post something that I'm not proud of. I think I've started three or four posts that are just sitting on my computer waiting to be finished. This one I will finish.

The past few weeks I've been in a rut of sorts. Nothing sounds appealing, there's no motivation, and I don't see the point of doing things. I think that this has come as the result of being halfway through studying abroad. I'm not quite ready to leave and prior to this, I wasn't sure how to put what I felt into words, or just how I was feeling in general. Luckily, the past few weeks and many unfinished posts have given me a clearer mind.

Since I last posted, my family has come and gone, I've spent a week in Italy, visited a friend in Salzburg for a long weekend, celebrated Halloween, started season 9 of Friends and finally started another class. So a lot has occurred.

Watching the sun set over the Alps

Our Christmas card!

Although it was really great to see my family and show them Lund, I must say that seeing them made me happier to be in Sweden than in the US. I love my family, I really do, and words can't express how grateful I am that they came to visit but seeing them made me realize what I miss and what I like about being by myself abroad. I've never been extremely close with my family but seeing them after two months and spending more time with them than I have since March was a great change of pace. Even though we don't always get along and I was definitely frustrated with my mother at times, I realized how much I meant to them and vice versa. 

My brother, mom, and I then flew to Italy to spend some time in Genoa and the Cinque Terre. It was beautiful. If I were a millionaire, I'd buy a house on the Ligurian coast in a heartbeat. I studied Italian culture for a year in high school so being able to taste legit Ligurian pesto was pretty much a dream come true and I was geeking out the entire time. I annoyed both of them but don't care. 

Italy was warm and beautiful and the food was so good and I'm pumped that I could go but I was so happy to go back to Sweden. Lund is home. I love the Swedish culture and the people and being able to order a black coffee without being judged and eating cheese and vegetables for breakfast. Real coffee doesn't come with 2 parts milk and one part coffee, it comes straight and trains come on time.

I never thought I'd see some small town in southern Sweden as home but honestly, I've felt more at home in Lund than I have in Virginia, New Hampshire, Colorado, or Tennessee. There's a certain freedom that comes with studying abroad and even though I don't think I've fully capitalized upon that, the new perspective I've gained is life changing. 

My time in Sweden is on the downhill and as I come closer to returning to the US, I can feel myself wanting to stay put. The nomad has become settled. I still want to travel but I would be perfectly content living in my IKEA apartment for a long time. And that's something by itself. 

Looking back, I think one of the major reasons for my rut was that I was unwilling to accept the fact that I have to leave. But unfortunately the semester is on the downhill and I need to start preparing myself to get on the plane bound for the world of drive-throughs, football, Chipotle, and Target. But from this moment on, I want to exploit my time abroad as much as I can and be grateful for the opportunity instead of disappointed in it's completion. 

Em 

A few of my favorite things